Edenism 101, Part Four: Phrenology and Face-Reading

Read First: Edenism 101, Part Three: The End of Eden

The previous segments of this series focused on the historical and anthropological background of Edenism. This post will focus on its most practical aspect: face-reading. By learning how to analyze peoples’ faces, you can predict with a reasonable degree of accuracy how they will think and behave.

Going by what we know about the hominids, we can summarize their personalities like this:

• Cro-Magnon: extroverted, impulsive, psychopathic, selfish, insensitive, low-IQ.
• Neanderthal: introverted, focused, ingenopathic, altruistic, sensitive, daydreamer, high-IQ.
• Melonhead: extroverted, manipulative, pragmatic, insensitive, dominant, high-IQ.

I’ve left starchildren off the list for the time being because their personalities (and indeed, existence) is something of a mystery.

Edenic phrenology teaches us that we can determine what peoples’ personalities are like by their faces, or more accurately their eyes. There’s growing scientific evidence in favor of Edenism; for example, people with autism and Asperger’s syndrome have been shown to have a common facial structure, and we’ve already established that “autism” is just what happens when you throw a Neanderthal into a Cro-Magnon social environment.

The back of the skull is also important. Take a look at this diagram:

The occipital bun that Thals possess is an enlarged occipital lobe, the brain’s visual center, hence why most artists and scientists have at least some Thal ancestry. Conversely, the dolichocephalic upper lobes that melonheads have are enlarged parietal lobes, which is responsible for symbolic and lingual intelligence, resulting in the melon dominance drive.

Cro-Magnons are pretty easy to identify; they comprise most of the human population. Their eyes are small, narrow-set, shallow and have a bone ridge around the outer corners. Here are some Cro-Mag faces:

Remember, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Cro-Magnons always look slow or unintelligent; the left side of their bell curve combines that with untrustworthiness and malice. Think People of Walmart.

For comparison, here are some Neanderthal faces. Note how the eyes are large and deep-set, and how the sockets fall away at the outer corners:

The key to identifying Thals is the “haunted ghost” look in their eyes, a look of innocence, intelligence and pain.

Finally, some melonheads. Note that while their eyes are shallow-set like Cro-Mags’, the sockets fall away like Neanderthals’:

Melonheads have a piercing gaze, like they’re boring straight into your soul.

Here are the four key features you need to watch out for.

Eye Socket Depth

Socket depth is probably the most important feature, as it signifies an individual’s proclivity towards honesty and their ability to focus. Individuals with deeper sockets tend to be more honest as a rule, to the point of social impairment, as their desire to be as truthful as possible leads them to trample all over social niceties. They view the world in an ideological framework, formulating a moral/philosophical code and judging everything and everyone according to that code. They also tend to be focused, often throwing themselves into mastering a discipline or subject for the pure joy of it. Finally, deep socketed people are introverted, expending energy in social interactions. If you had an absentminded math professor in college or know someone who’s into nerdy activities like anime and cosplay, chances are they have noticeably deep sockets.

Deep sockets also indicate considerable intelligence; just look at the faces of these renowned scientists and philosophers:

A person with shallow sockets will be more practical and better able to multitask, and will also have more social savvy. They see the world in a pragmatic framework, viewing themselves and everyone else as self-interested individuals who are out for themselves first and foremost. This doesn’t mean that shallow-socketed individuals are necessarily Machivellian liars and deep-socketed folks are perfect angels, only that they interpret and process truth in a different way.

For a real-world example, compare two different Republican politicians, Ron Paul (deep sockets) and Mitt Romney (shallow sockets). Paul is respected as a libertarian thinker and advocate, but he’s so principled that he’s incapable of winning any election outside of his heavily gerrymanded Congressional district. Romney, on the other hand, has a reputation as a “flip-flopper,” changing his political positions in the pursuit of power; he was pro-choice when he was governor of Masschusetts, but suddenly became pro-life when he sought the GOP presidential nomination. You can see this same dichotomy on the left: the principled leftists like Dennis Kucinich and Ralph Nader have deep sockets like Paul, while the pragmatic centrists like Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have shallow sockets like Romney.

Gauging socket depth is more difficult in women, because they have lower testosterone than men and thus their brows are less prominent. In extreme cases, such as Marie Curie (pictured above) or Penelope Trunk, you can tell from depth alone, but those are rare. To identify Thal women, look at the triangular divot on the side of their eye sockets:

Socket depth is the number one indicator whether someone is Neanderthal or melonhead/Cro-Magnon, as the cluster of traits it is linked to comprise the core of the Neanderthal soul.

Eye Spacing

This one’s simpler: eye spacing indicates an individual’s generosity. A person with wide-spaced eyes will be more giving and eager to please; a person with narrow-spaced eyes will be more selfish and egocentric. When I met Alpha Unit and her husband last November, I got to watch their toddler son in action, a deep Thal who is amazingly giving and generous; he frequently offered his toys to me to play with, and even took crackers out of his mouth to share. Unsurprisingly, he has very wide-spaced eyes. Their more melonheaded daughter, whom they facetiously describe as “sociopathic,” has narrower eye spacing.

Eye Size

Eye size indicates emotional vulnerability. People with larger eyes are more emotionally sensitive; they’re more likely to cry when they’re upset and quicker to display feelings in general. People with smaller eyes are less sensitive and better able to guard their emotions and be emotionally aggressive without being weighed down with guilt or remorse.

This is why large eyes are perceived as being childlike, and why large-eyed people are viewed as “innocent”; like children, they are more likely to wear their hearts on their sleeves.

Back of Head

The back of the head is the easiest to read, at least for men. As mentioned before, Neanderthals possess enlarged occipital lobes while melonheads have enlarged parietal (upper back) lobes. Cro-Magnons have normal-sized lobes. Here are some examples of Thal backs:

As you can see, the lower back of the head juts out like a football. For comparison, here’s what the melonhead back looks like:

In this case, the top back of the head juts out to create an egg-like shape, in extreme cases a conehead shape.

The back of the skull determines an individual’s spiritual drive; your long-term goals and desires. A Thal back bestows an individual with an enhanced ability to engage in abstract thinking, manifested in dreams and visions. They are driven to conceive of new ideas, yet at the same time, they lack social ambition and are content to live a happy life. They may seem passive, but if you threaten their family or friends, watch out. Think of smart nerds who prefer to spend their free time playing video games instead of advancing in their careers.

A melonhead back gives an individual ambition and dominance, a desire to remake society. They are driven to rise in the ranks of hierarchies, to compete with others and come out on top. People who occupy positions of power almost always have melon backs: politicians, businessmen and the like.

Starchildren

Starchildren have heads that bulge out to the sides, like so:

Hybridization and Nomenclature

To identify people’s lineage in shorthand, we refer to them by taking their facial structure and skull bulges (or lack thereof) into account. Some examples:

• MT: melonhead back, Neanderthal front.
• MM: melonhead back, melonhead front.
• TM: Neanderthal back, melonhead front.
• TT: Neanderthal back, Neanderthal front.
• MC: melonhead back, Cro-Magnon front.

And so on and so forth.

Hybridization has its own perils because the differing emotional and spiritual drives of the different hominids result in psychological dysfunction. MTs are probably the best understood of all the hybrids, mainly because a disproportionate share of the people involved in Edenism are MTs (Koanic, Alpha Unit and her husband, Bill Powell, Aurini and myself among them). MTs are inclined to social dysfunction, but unlike TTs, they have the ambition and drive to overcome it. When you combine Neanderthal honesty with melonhead ambition, you end up with an aggressive ideologue.

Other hybrids are something of a mystery right now. TMs seem to suffer from deeper dysfunction than MTs, though the exact mechanics of melon charisma and Thal intellectual systemization colliding aren’t that well understood yet. Cro-Mag hybrids aren’t well understood either, though Koanic has speculated that MCs like Jimmy Savile are inclined to sociopathy and heinous criminal acts.

For more in-depth info on face-reading and the science of Edenic phrenology, check out this post by Koanic, as well as here, here and here.

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