Edenism 101, Part Two: Cro-Magnons, Neanderthals, Melonheads and Starchildren

Read First: Edenism 101, Part One: Core Concepts

As mentioned in the previous installment, mankind is descended from at least four different groups of hominids: Cro-Magnons, Neanderthals, melonheads, and starchildren. This part will describe each one in turn.

1. Cro-Magnons

Cro-Magnons are the vast majority of the human race. They have small, narrow-set eyes, with shallow eye sockets. Their sockets also have bone ridges at the outer corners, as they are intended to face forward.

Cro-Magnon skulls are small and shaped “normally,” without any distinguishing features.

Cro-Magnons were carbohydrate-eating foragers who originated in sub-Saharan Africa, an environment with abundant resources and a relatively pleasant climate. As a result, they evolved into r-strategists, favoring promiscuity and low-investment parenting as a reproductive strategy. Cro-Magnon societies were large and unstable, Thomas Hobbes’ “war of all against all.” Cro-Magnon tribes tended to be large and unstable; in an r-type environment, there’s little motivation to form lasting relationships or build any permanent society because anyone who tries will be swarmed upon and looted by their neighbors. Sexual dimorphism is also largely absent; because fathers rarely invest effort into raising their children, mothers are forced to pick up the slack, becoming more aggressive, bitchy and masculinized. Men also become more effeminate, as mating success is determined by “sexiness” and a great many just rape women outright. Higher-order thinking was also almost entirely absent. The end result is that on their own, Cro-Magnons never excelled at anything aside from breeding, cannibalism and genocide.

Homo Sapiens, the specific variant of Cro-Magnon that modern man is descended from, is weaker and dumber than the originals. Texas Arcane alleges that they were specifically bred to be subservient, stupid and violent, because Sapiens has rhesus monkey DNA and other oddities which could not have come about by natural means.

2. Neanderthals

There are numerous types of Neanderthals (or Thals for short), but the most common are “Amud,” named after the site where they were initially discovered. They have large, wide-set eyes, with deep sockets that fall away at the edges, also known as retreating periorbital sockets.

Neanderthal skulls are elongated and football-shaped, with braincases that are significantly larger than Cro-Magnon ones. They have an occipital bun, an enlarged lower back lobe.

Neanderthals were protein-eating herders who originated in Europe and the Middle East, hostile environments with scarce resources and brutal climates. Hence, they evolved as K-strategists, favoring monogamy, high-investment parenting and small tribes of no more than a few dozen members. Neanderthal tribes were exogamous matriarchies in which women held ultimate veto power; men who were deemed dangerous or unfit were banished and died of exposure in the wild. Their personalities are also ingenopathic, meaning that they are not subdivided into an ego, id and superego like Cro-Magnons’ are. Because of all this, Thals are generally high-IQ introverts and tend to be radically honest (even when it hurts them personally). In the large-group Sapiens environment that is modern society, many Thals suffer from crippling social dysfunction, usually diagnosed as autism or Asperger’s syndrome.

The enlarged back lobe that Neanderthals possess is a visual center, giving them incredible future time orientation and the ability to engage in abstract thinking. Because of this, Thals are overrepresented in the fields of art, music, science and mathematics. Virtually all major scientific and artistic innovations throughout history have come from individuals who were at least part Thal. Archaeological findings consistently show that Neanderthals had mastered everything from art to animal domestication long before Cro-Magnons/Sapiens did; indeed, Cro-Mags/Sapiens could not do any of these things prior to contact with Thals.

3. Melonheads

Melonheads are a bit more enigmatic than the previous two hominids, because evidence for their existence is not nearly as abundant as the other two. Their faces are midway between Cro-Magnons and Neanderthals; while they have smaller, more narrow-set eyes and shallow sockets like Cro-Mags, their sockets fall away at the outer corners like Thals’.

Melon skulls are, well, melon-shaped, with comparable braincases to Thals’. The biggest difference is that they have enlarged upper back lobes instead of lower ones, creating a “conehead” appearance, known as dolichocephaly.

Because mainstream anthropology is massively behind the times, we don’t have as complete a picture of melonheads as we do the other two races. What we do know is that while melons and Thals are both high-IQ, melons tend to be more pragmatic and charismatic, lacking the social dysfunction unique to Thals.

The enlarged upper back lobe gives melons ambition and a drive for personal success. As a result, they typically dominate high-reward, leader of men-type activities such as politics, business and finance. Melonheads are usually depicted in ancient art as ”masters” or “gods,” and are typically mistaken for space aliens by pseudointellectual cranks.

4. Starchildren

Starchildren are by far the least well-known of the four progenitor races; I’m not fully convinced of their existence, but I’ve included them here to let the reader decide. Like Neanderthals and melonheads, they have large braincases, but rather than enlarged back lobes, they have enlarged frontal lobes, with bulging, over-sized foreheads.

Little is known about how starchildren think, aside from the fact that they appear to be a blend of melonhead and Neanderthal psychologies. While melonheads dominate through being charismatic, starchildren dominate by being empathic, influencing people through relationship-building, gossiping and persuasiveness. Melonheads seem to have an inborn revulsion to starchildren, presumably because the starchild impulse to persuade and empathize conflicts with the melon drive to lead and organize people into hierarchies.

Starchildren got their name because it’s believed that they have extraterrestrial origins. I personally don’t buy it, but there you go.

Read Next: Edenism 101, Part Three: The End of Eden

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